There Is So Much Listening To Do

As a white, cis-gender, straight sized, able bodied, middle class female, I’ve been having a hard time feeling like there are appropriate words to connect right now to properly emphasize what’s going on in our country, and then I realized, I think that might be the point. This doesn’t mean that personal feelings don’t matter, it just means that lifting up the voices of melanated voices is MORE important.

Sometimes action is needed where inaction has sat for too long. I am beyond grateful for the last 2 weeks of listening, learning, and beginning the unlearning process. The voices I have been introduced to in the last 2 weeks have been powerful, humbling, and necessarily uncomfortable. There is no “end game” to anti-racism. We often want to “get it right” and can get stuck in feeling like it’s not enough, but from the powerful words of @ibramxk , just because you aren’t a racist, doesn’t mean your actions can’t be racist. It’s a spectrum not based on who we are as individuals, but that actions we take based on a broken system.

I advocate that ALL bodies deserve respect and love. I advocate against the world of diet culture that leaves us all feeling inadequate and unworthy. I have acknowledged my size privilege, but what is so roaringly loud now that I somehow missed before (because hello privilege), is the racist roots of diet culture all together. The FEAR of black bodies in a system that demonizes and disproportionatly negatively affects people of color, and females in larger bodies for a reason.

I have so much work to continue doing to help dismantle my own privilege and in hopes there are less and less blind spots. I know I’m not going to get it right, and as a recovering perfectionist, that’s rough, but how many things do we get right the first time around? The important thing is that we TAKE ACTION, we have the conversations, we show up fearful of saying the wrong thing and do it anyways, because that’s the only way for us to truly see our privilege. I want to re-emphasize that racism is in our actions or inaction.

This important work isn’t about showing up here on social media and preaching our solidarity. This isn’t about being an “ally” either. This truthfully is about lifting up marginalized voices period. Not just fat marginalized bodies like I have been trying to shine light on, but ALLLLL bodies.

The real work is behind the scenes. It’s in the conversations, the reading, the self-reflection, the voting, and the action. This isn’t a 5k, it’s a marathon.

My great friend and colleague gave me great advice that I am taking to heart and I hope brings all of you who are doing this work or are new to doing this work a place to start. We can get overwhelmed which can sometimes cause inaction, much like shaming does. So instead of getting stuck on what am I possibly supposed to do or where do I even begin this dismantling process, just start with one thing. It can be overwhelming to try to take everything in at once, which I know many of us want to do, but instead, start one place and let that be your beginning guide. Maybe you’re interested in health care or the prison industrial complex or history. START somewhere and let that be enough to begin the journey. Again, this isn’t something to burn out on, it’s an unlearned and most of all a LISTENING.

There is so much listening to do.

Dismantling diet culture and supporting ALL bodies is still my goal and my life’s work, but it will also need to shift and change the more I learn and the more I am able to see where my privilege blinds me. That means being more inclusive towards other providers not JUST in fat bodies, but also people of color and ALL marginalized groups. That advocating HAS to be part of the work too. I believe that if I am standing in the space of Health at Every Size and dismantling diet culture, than I have to look at it’s racist roots too.

I will be continuing to share some of the work I have been introduced to from the last 2 weeks. It’s by no means exhaustive, but it’s a start, and I’d rather start somewhere than no where at all.

Please no cookies or kudos below (thank you @simibotic and @rachel.cargle for bringing that to my awareness) this all should have been said a long time ago.

My practice and this page will continue to open up in it’s inclusivity, I hope you’ll continue on this ride with me, but if not, I’ll be ok with that too.