It Takes Courage to Rest

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When I lived in New York, I worked as a pastry sous chef at a busy restaurant on Central Park South. There was no “balance” it was get up, go to work, unwind, work, sometimes weeks at a time.
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I know this isn’t uncommon. I know this is what makes or breaks people in cities like NYC.
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But I was incredibly unhappy and unfulfilled. If I was working 90 hours a week, the other sous chef who I looked up to was working 110. I had no room to complain, I never felt like I was doing enough. That’s a hard place to sit day after day with no break. I didn’t like the person I was becoming, the friend, coworker, manager I was being. If I got a day off it would be spent wondering around with high anxiety, then binging on foods in my room in an attempt to cope (this was also do to under eating during the weekdays).
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The point is, this wasn’t the only time it showed up in my life. Feeling like I wasn’t doing enough, wasn’t pushing enough, couldn’t BE enough, seeped out in big and small ways in my life.
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When constantly living with that feeling of not “enough” it can be hard to courageously say yes to rest. It can seem like the best choice to push harder, prove more.
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The reality is, exhaustion is a slippery slope. There are absolutely times when the push is needed, but when you wake up day in and day out having a hard time wanting to live your life; is the exhaustion really worth it?
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It takes courage to say enough is enough. It take courage to realize that maybe someone else CAN do more than you, or maybe they are doing it, but they’re miserable.
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I understand it takes privilege to have the choice at all, but what better reason to courageously step forward and say enough is enough. To create healthy boundaries, to take a look at your surroundings and CHOOSE rest.
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Put down your phone, say “No.”, realize that some days your best has to be enough. The rat race is real. There will ALWAYS be more to do, more to get done.
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But at what cost? Where do your values lie? Where do you prioritize yourself too? Is it for validation? To prove your worth?