I’ve been coming back to this idea of the “inner critic” a lot in the last couple of days.

It is a voice I have been paying attention to for a while now, without the label that helps better understand the negative or self-limiting thoughts we have.

Even the most confident of us has an inner critic, but some speak louder than others.

Over the weekend I spent Sunday with one of my teachers, surrounded by old friends and new. It was a beautiful, open, welcoming, and I’ll admit, at times, uncomfortable day. We spoke about the fact that growth is not sexy, true yoga is not sexy. It can make us feel uneasy and vulnerable. It takes shedding layers and sometimes people too, all while reflecting on every aspect of who you are as an individual.

As a group, a common theme we kept coming back to this idea of the inner critic. The idea of using time like meditation to welcome in all of our thoughts and beginning to look at each thought objectively while noticing patterns if they arise. The more we start to watch, to become aware, the more we begin to see the different layers, the different voices that rule our subconscious. That inner critic can cause some serious self-limiting beliefs if we let it. The inner critic can also spit lies about who we have come to believe we are based on the different levels of karma.

I love an idea I picked up from the weekend; this concept of beginning to listen for the different voices that the inner voices take.

The inner critic is smart, and can easily change tactics to keep you in the static confines of your mind. You have to remember your monkey brain doesn’t want to change; it will do everything in its power to keep from growing in fact.

So as you begin to listen to those self limiting beliefs in your mind, you may begin to notice patterns in them, similar voices showing up over and over again…those thoughts that have now become your beliefs.

Maybe one of your voices is the critic who comes to you when you look in the mirror. The one who picks apart your body like it’s second nature, before you even have a chance to have a say. Maybe one of your voices comes to you with the lie that you are weak and undeserving of love. Name them. Start to listen to the patterns that arise. When do you hear the voices the loudest? Can you start separating each pattern and give it a name?

One of the patterns I hear from my own inner critic is that voice of bringing shame onto my physical body and pick apart what I can’t change. I have named her Shaniqua, because she doesn’t live here no more (90s rap reference for you).

Maybe you have another voice I hear too. One telling me I’m not good enough. Name them. All of these voices work to keep us in a spiral of shame and questioning our worth. That inner critic with the many heads? That inner critic can scream pretty loud, and lead us down a deep dark hole of BS talking ourselves into someone we aren’t at all. It can pull us out of the present moment and limit us from living out the best version of ourselves.

BUT and that’s a very big B.U.T. If we can bring ourselves to hear the inner critic, I’m sure you’ve had moments of hearing another voice too. A voice that is bright and has reason, a voice of strength and beauty.

That voice that resembles a best friend or teacher who wants to shower you with unconditional love, support, and acceptance. Maybe that voice isn’t always as loud as the inner critic, but it’s there, and it is 100% your personal cheerleader who wants to come out to play more often.

As we name our inner critic heads, we start to recognize them for what they are and we can methodically begin to train our minds to pull out that inner friend or teacher too. This concept is one that can take a while to master, but I find it to be instant gratification as well. Yes you may feel a little like a crazy person with multiple personalities, but it’s important we start filtering through the destructive from true thoughts our brain has us saying over and over.

If our best friend heard what we were telling ourselves, what would she/he say? Would it be loving or condemning? Would you’re best friend sit there and berate your body or tell you how beautiful, capable, and strong you are? Would a close teacher tell you to give up, or grind that gear to help you see the potential for change in that exact moment?

We can begin to do this for ourselves, without any outside resource. We can start being our own best friend and our own best teacher.

We can stop numbing ourselves to our feelings and start listening to what they are trying to tell us. We can begin to hear the inner critic for what it is and make a conscious decision to create different thought patterns in that moment. Let that best friend yell “WE AREN’T DOING THIS TODAY!” or whisper, “You are capable beyond belief”.

Change won’t happen over night, but those baby steps can add up to massive amounts of transformation that you deserves to be a part of. We all deserve it, give yourself that gift.

A Life Nourished

The Inner Critic and The Best Friend